Children need a sense of community. They need to feel a part of something far beyond themselves. So do I really, if Iâ€™m being honest. Iâ€™ve known this forever. Itâ€™s why I work in non-profits, and itâ€™s why I write.
My partner and I and our closest friends have been very intentional about building community for our children. They have a web of cousins and aunties we celebrate holidays with, schedule play dates with and trips, people we call with the biggest news in our lives.
This fall, we celebrated the first birthday of Mr. One-derful, the newest addition to our little enclave. He was born last year while the rest of us were picking apples. At his birthday party, he ate cake for the first time. He didnâ€™t seem certain at first it was real, it was his, it was for eating, he could have...
Published: November 17, 2011
By Kelly FondowI had â€śthe talkâ€ť with Eva last week. She was sitting at the island in the kitchen while I was chopping away at what would become one of my less inspired dinners. Halfway through the onion that was making a valiant effort to blind me, Eva drops the...
For Whom Do We Wed?
Published: October 20, 2011
By RoiAnn PhillipsYears ago, when I was gay-for-pay, attending evening meetings and staffing Pride tables in four cities each summer, my stepdaughter mentioned in passing one day that it was â€śillegalâ€ť for two women to get married. She stopped me dead in my tracks as I was crossing the living...
The Space-Time Continuum
Published: October 6, 2011
By Kelly FondowFamily life is a funny thing. As I was cleaning up after dinner last night I was thinking about all of our patterns. Through the years RoiAnn and I have fallen into dozens of them. Our daily life runs amazingly smoothly â€“ thanks in large part to these...
Are You the Babysitter?
Published: September 8, 2011
By RoiAnn PhillipsAs a white lesbian adoptive mom and stepmom in a family with two young Latinas, Iâ€™ve been asked this question more than a few times â€“ at the park, during social events, after the high school dance. Where we are and how much it matters â€“ to me...
Grace and the Art of Leaving
Published: August 25, 2011
By Kelly FondowMy daughter is a POET.Through poetry she searches for herself: for her long-absent father â€“ for the Latina deep within her â€“ for the young woman falling into love for the first time. Through poetry she introduces me to myself, an unexpected result perhaps, but the truth just...
Notes for Camp Grandma
Published: August 11, 2011
By RoiAnn PhillipsI packed my daughterâ€™s suitcase this week with ten tiny notes, two swimsuits, an assortment of clothing, a few books, a green Martian nightlight from IKEA, and a giant pile of Ugly Dolls. Her Wisconsin grandparents keep a toothbrush for her in the bathroom cabinet, toys in the...
Sleepovers and True Confessions
Published: July 28, 2011
By Kelly FondowLast week my parents marked their 45th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, my mom and dad, along with my sister, her husband and their 7 and 8 year old ruffians, all made the drive from Wisconsin to Chicago to spend the weekend at our house. My daughter Grace, soon...