Brian Wines and Ian Enriquez of The Barbary Coast Clog-gers were instant crowd pleasers at the Jon Sims Center. Photo by Rink.

The Jon Sims Center for the Arts held its “Second Debut: A Re-Grand Opening Celebration” at JSC on St. Patrick’s Day evening. Displayed on the walls were framed photos of Jon Sims, founder and conductor of the Gay Freedom Day Marching Band, who died from AIDS in 1984, as well as his famous baton in a glass case. In one of the JSC studio rooms there were continual showings of the pre-production version of Why We Sing, a documentary on the GLBT choruses throughout the world, known collectively as GALA. In this lively documentary, producer/director Lawrence B. Dillon (who is also a second tenor in the SF Gay Men’s Chorus) profiles four groups: Muse (Cincinnati’s Women’s Choir); Diverse Harmony (Seattle’s gay-straight alliance youth chorus); Transcendence (world’s first all-transgender choir, based in San Francisco); and San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. The finished version is slated to broadcast on PBS-TV for Pride Month in June. Dillon told Bay Times, “This will have a national screening on all 300 PBS stations to spread the message of love and acceptance.” This uplifting account of LGBT choruses features singers and conductors sharing their stories - conveying the power of music and song to change lives and heal divisions. The footage was shot in Montreal, Canada at GALA Choruses’ international LGBT choral festival attended by nearly 6,000 singers. The post-production version will have SF Mayor Gavin Newsom as narrator. Look for a full-length review of the film in next week’s Bay Times.

Beginning the live entertainment portion of the evening was the Lollipop Guild - the first out men’s small chorus and longest running small ensemble of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. This is their 30th season. These thirteen gay men, under the direction of Paul Saccione, sang several a cappella numbers, such as their signature song, “Lollipop,” with same gender love lyrics like: “his kisses are sweeter than apple pie.” The addition of finger snapping and popping sounds were sweet as well. Then they sang the Sha-Na-Na version of “Blue Moon” with all the bop-de-bops and dinga-ding-dangs, plus such touching lyrics as: “Now I’m no longer alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own.” They then did their tribute to Jersey Boys fever with fancy choreography to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons’ numbers, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” segueing into “Walk Like a Man” (as they minced and swished like nelly fellas), the high-pitched “Sherry Baby,” and “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” Appropriately enough, they finished with “Good Night, Sweetheart, Good Night.”

In studio one we got to hear all about clogging and get a demonstration with several very intricate, fast-paced exhibitions (such as the “Red Rose Reel” and a clogging/square dancing bit to “Foggy Mountain Breakdown”) by the Barbary Coast Cloggers, who have been around for 26 years. They taught us some basic clogging steps, like the shuffle, brush, and rock-back. My favorite was the slap leather step, but when it all got too complicated, this reporter found himself to be one clumsy clogger. We learned that this dance form is a combination of African, Irish, Scottish, German, and American traditions, and that tap dancing evolved from clogging. The Barbary Coast Cloggers hold clogging lessons for beginners to advanced categories at JSC (1519 Mission and 11th Streets) Monday nights. For more info check out barbarycoast.org or call (415) 552-4541. It’s a better workout than jazzercise or aerobics.

In studio three a wild show, “Crash Cabaret: Where Queers Collide,” was provided for the amusement of fellow freeeks and punks. On the wall a large banner spelled out: “AMAAAZING!!!!” The walls flashed with psychedelic forms and colors. The show began with a combination of slam poetry and performance art by Liz Boubion and her troupe. “I release, I let go, I surrender to the flow of my goddess below my waist,” the leader recited, pointing out her undulating, heaving midsection. The other performers chanted, imitated a beat box, and made sounds of the sea. Later she would perform a sneak peek at her upcoming “AirSpace” show and her interpretation of “Nine Planets” from one of those Schoolhouse Rock videos. Next the all-dyke burlesque group, Diamond Daggers, slinked out in their sexy blue negligee-gowns to dance and lip-sync to the title song of Dreamgirls. They were quite dreamy, to be sure. Unfortunately they did not strip this time. David Calizo AKA Stink (wearing an outfit making him a combination of circus barker and punk freeek, especially in that triple-processed sideways Mohawk wig) introduced the punk group of two hot women, Dreamboat Where Are You?, playing guitar and drums to their original “I Really Like You, I Do.” Out came a crazed drag queen in pink wig and pink negligee dancing about and lip-syncing. “Can’t you hear the song of love,” she queried, trying to hear it from a seashell and from a stethoscope. Then two “tanks” and their drivers in flak jackets (Daniel Griffin and Stephen Triptoe) rolled in for Iraq attack. “Get radical! Join the US military! It’s fun!” shouted a spokeswoman with her teeth blackened out and face looking gaunt. But something very Don’t Ask-y/Don’t Tell-ish happened when the guys in the turrets began rubbing their long, stiffly mounted guns against each other. One even turned around to get poked in the rear of the vehicle with a very erect gun. Ronnie was “One Trashy Bitch,” as he entitled his act. He was really sexy in his fishnet bodysuit, black Spandex briefs, gold spiked heels, and dark sunglasses – singing all about the body and modeling on an imaginary catwalk. Dreamboat Where Are You? rocked the stage with their hip-hoppish “Word”: “What I wanna say; what I need to say; word.” Soon it was time for the karaoke relay game. Four contestants had to sing along with Dreamboat singing Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love”: “Sometimes I feel I’ve got to [bomp bomp!] run away, I’ve got to [bomp bomp!] get away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me.” The clear winner was the anonymous woman with total rocker voice and attitude. Then Tony Giovanni and Stephen Triptoe did their interpretation of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”: “Omigod, Stephen, look at her butt,” said Tony. “It is so big!” But they soon changed their tune, learning to appreciate the three thick chicks parading all that junk in their trunks: “My anaconda don’t want none, unless you’ve got buns, hun.” Julia Allen from US Social Forum read her short story, “The Year You Were Born,” and got the audience to chant along, “Another world is possible!” After pointing out several members of Los Angeles’ critically acclaimed production of Corpus Christi by Terrence McNally, Stink announced that the show was coming to JSC and Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory, April 12-15, which is not to be missed. 

Two hot young guys wheeled out a small trunk and left it center stage. When the music from David Rose’s “The Stripper” edplay, at first just a gloved hand and two legs popped out of the trunk, followed by the entire female ecdysiast emerging in naught but pasties and a g-string to do a reverse strip, getting into her clothes as the audience yelled, “Put it on! Put it on!” With her Jewish American Princess accent she musically advised how it’s time to get ready for love, singing Burt Bacharach’s “Wives and Lovers,” putting on a shower cap, robe, and bunny slippers, and confessing, “Lately, I ain’t so fresh down there.” Ew.

Back in studio one, comedian Nick Leonard presented acts from his long-running “Q Comedy” series, including the Winsome Griffles doing a perverted circus song about a birthday clown who fucked the birthday boy. For anyone who was ever scared by clowns, this song would put you over the edge, baby! They followed with “Your New Stupid Boyfriend,” which was recently performed at the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of SF’s annual “Love Bites” show. For the finale of the evening, Stephanie Smith, L/GCSF conductor, played at the piano and sang bawdy tunes.