Everyone who was anyone who was a fan of the late Ed Wood attended the two-day Ed Wood Festival at the Castro Theatre, featuring a newly digitized and colorized version of Plan 9 from Outer Space. Just to see Vampira’s long, blood-red fingernails was worth the price of admission alone. The event opened with a deliciously odd juxtaposition of the Castro organist playing happy, lovely Cole Porter tunes on the Wurlitzer while undead Vampira and Bela Lugosi look-alikes paced menacingly in front of the stage. Vampira vamped beautifully, but Bela looked more like Elvis than Bela in his dark sunglasses and cape. Producer/distributor Tom Holland opened the show remarking, “Ed Wood is looking down right now from heaven—or maybe he’s looking up—and is very pleased with this event and his movie being shown in color.” He pointed out Barry Sandrew, Ph.D., president and COO of Legend Films, the creator of the restoration and colorization technology used on the film. “A lot of people don’t like colorization, but I think this is one film that deserves it,” commented Holland. He said Wood probably would have filmed it in color, had he the expense account and equipment necessary. Holland introduced Mz Monster of a Cable Access 29 horror show, whose face and body were painted green against her bright orange hair. She mentioned the upcoming Shocktoberfest, “Shock It To Me,” with two weeks of scary movies (some 3-D) at the Castro during October.

Another feature of the evening was a series of trailers for various newly colorized classics by Legend Films, including Reefer Madness, the 1936 classic “Just-Say-No” scare film that has entertained rather than alarmed many a marijuana smoker. Just imagine it in full color! The hysterically laughing woman, a furiously puffing man, the gratuitous sex—all digitized for your maniacal merriment. Carnival of Souls with strange forces from the bottom of the river is now even creepier in color. Can’t you just picture colorful brains being eaten in Night of the Living Dead? And House on Haunted Hill with the very faggy Vincent Price. Not only that, but Legend even brings us the Three Stooges in color. Woo woo woo! Nyuk nyuk!

Mike Nelson, host of TV’s Mystery Science Theater 3000, was unable to attend in person, but he had filmed a series of bad commercials by Ed Wood, as well as some very freaky home movies, outtakes, and a hilarious send-up of the first eight plans from outer space. “More terrifying than any Ed Wood movie could ever be—“Ed Wood at home,” announced narrator Nelson. One short was of Wood at a cocktail party from the ‘50s with contemporary lounge music in the background. Another showed Wood in his angora cashmere sweater and long pleated skirt. But when he hiked up the skirt, we could see his garter belt and nylons. Frightening. And his tacky brown wig was equally disturbing. “Ed was multi-talented,” said the voiceover. “He also made really crappy TV commercials.” What followed was no understatement of poor writing and acting. “Oh darling, what a lovely wedding present. It’s a beautiful used car!” said one spot. Another had three curvaceous pirate ladies burying a treasure chest and speaking of “the most beautiful jewelry in the world.” A third might have been a prequel to Brokeback Mountain—with one cowboy hunting down another, where the one being held up requested, “Will you bury me with my boots on?” and the would be shooter notices how that’s “mighty fine footwear;” so the would be victim ditches his cowgirl girlfriend to go off into the sunset hand-in-hand with his new cowboy pal. Nelson also made witty, snarky comments about Wood’s failed plans one-through-eight. Plan two was especially amusing: aliens radiating the pituitary and pineal glands of recently deceased squirrels in order to control earthlings.

Plan 9 from Outer Space is only available on the Web site at legendfilms.net at this time. It’s the limited/collectors edition that is autographed by Mike Nelson of MST3K, and contains a bonus air freshener, “Alien Fresh,” in the shape of one of the spaceships. I am told that the retail version will be out in late June of this year, at most major retailers. Most of what the audience saw at the premiere is on the DVD, including the Lost Plans 1-8, the Ed Wood home movies, and commercials. And if you want to order Conrad Brooks’ trilogy of monster films that I mentioned last week in my interview of the Plan 9 actor who played the young cop, those movies—Jan-Gel: the Beast of the East, Jan-Gel Returns, and Hillbilly Monsters: the Son of Jan-Gel—are available on his Web site at ConradBrooks.com.