Happy dancers Sue Frank, Ilyse Zimmerman and Del Landis. Photo by Rink.

“To dance, one must be a little mad,” said Zorba the Greek in the classic movie of that title. And that’s what the annual Dance-Along Nutcracker is all about. During the time of Nutcracker composer Peter Tchaikovsky, people went to the theater, opera, and ballet to be swept away by the scale and beauty of grand productions, according to SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Day bandleader and artistic director Jadine Louie. Movies have served the same purpose in our time. That is why the Band decided to pay tribute to the silver screen for their 20th anniversary gala production of the annual Dance-Along Nutcracker, where the audience got to test their skills in ballet on the dance floor. The pull-out-the-stops show referenced no less than 27 movies and 21 film composers.

Part of the fanfare was at opening night while spying the most festive of movie-themed costumes: Cruella deVille, Marilyn Monroe, Carmen Miranda, Harpo Marx, Charlie Chaplin, Superman, Batman, and a hunky Brokeback Mountain cowboy, as well as many butterflies and wannabe ballerinas. Sister Dana wore his traditional purple tutu habit. As we entered Yerba Buena Art’s main ballroom, we were entertained by the fabulous Dixieland Dykes + Three (the other three were trannies and guys). “Are we ready for a wild and crazy evening?” queried queer Assemblyman Mark Leno, honorary emcee.

“You look like a really wacky crowd.” He joked, “This is exactly the way Tchaikovsky envisioned this piece.” He brought up Jimmer Casio from the Mayor’s Office to present a proclamation, and added a certificate from the Assembly. “Some of you were expecting to see me as the sugar plum fairy or a tin soldier or Prince Charming,” he apologized in his politico garb. Frankly, I always see him as all three! He had us click our heels three times and think good thoughts a la Tinkerbell, and lo and behold the SF L/G Freedom Band appeared.

Opening with the theme, “Hooray for Hollywood,” the show took off. Tap dancers did their thing to 42nd Street and Sweet Charity; then we had the zany music from Warner Bros. cartoons; and the heart-melting “Theme from A Summer Place was followed by numbers from Lawrence of Arabia (oh, feel the heat of the desert) and Casablanca (there was heat there also, especially between screen sizzlers Bogart and Bacall). The first dance-along was the theme from Raiders of the Lost Ark, leading into Peter T’s “Overture Miniature.” The silent movie part of the evening featured typical melodrama characters—maiden in distress, evil villain, and heroic Canadian mounted cavalry—live onstage to enact the drama as the screen above informed us with appropriate subtitles. The hero, by the way, was a dyke. Suddenly the pink panther appeared (cue Henry Mancini’s music) and two private eyes were frantically looking for clues with giant magnifying glasses.

Of course, with the opening notes of “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” every fairy and wannabe fairy got up and showed their stuff. Director Louie then led us volunteer dancers (remember, they served vodka at this event) in a last minute rehearsal, where she put us through the rigors of learning to do a choo-choo line, circle dance, and bunny hop. This would later appear—thank gawd, after the audience had imbibed a bit—when we danced divinely (okay, I had indulged in a martini, so I had vodka goggles on at that point) to a Judy Garland medley beginning at “The Trolley Song” and ending with “Over the Rainbow.” Next we were referred to a script treatment of “Godzilla Eats Las Vegas,” where we heard the soundtrack {brilliant!} and read along as the Band’s music helped us to imagine Godzilla stomping on everyone in his path—Frank Sinatra, Wayne Newton, and even Liberace. Oh the horror. But a valiant army of Elvises (Elvi?) attacked with their missiles. Was this the end for Godzilla? Nope. He lives to finance yet another sequel. We ended with PT’s “Russian Dance,” and all looked like proper Ruski’s in our modest folk dance interpretation.

After intermission and another cocktail, we were ready to observe the Band in their procession to “Circle of Life” from Lion King. The musicians had changed into their celebratory second-half costumes: Dorothy of Oz, the wicked witch, pirate, gladiator, wizard and scholars from Harry Potter’s class, Moses carrying film footage of himself, Tigger from Pooh times, the Three Musketeers, Batman and Robin, Piggy, Kermit the frog & the whole Sesame Street gang, various Christmas characters, and the crème de la crème: La Louie, dressed like the Egyptian Pharaoh, ready to let her people go—and rehearse.

“Hot Chocolate” from Polar Express was a hot number choreographed by Carolyn Carvajal, who brilliantly mapped out all the dances again this year. Then, choreographed by absolutely no one, we fagulous fools did Nutcracky’s “March.” When the music from The Incredibles was interpreted by the Band, some of us dared to dance. But the “Arabian Dance” and “Chinese Dance” inspired a bunch of us drunken ballet dancers (some had just soda, but strangely still acted sotted) to do our best on the dance floor. Thank gawd there were no talent scouts out there. Jadine got the audience to do a choreographed number (who am I kidding? Everyone was either drunk or punch drunk at that point) to “Singing in the Rain,” complete with left-right-left movements, jazz hands, and hands indicating rain falling, while dancers on stage twirled and whirled with their colorful umbrellas. The final number, “Waltz of the Flowers,” got us up from our chairs and out onto the floor one last time (and some of those flowers had very heavy roots, if you know what I mean). But it was all good, and it benefited our marvelous Band. So I take my tutu off to you, oh mighty San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Day Band! Here’s to another 20 years!!!