Sister Dana sez, “What the hell is wrong with Cupid and his missing arrows into this gay nun’s heart time and time again?! Is he still the Valentines mascot? Maybe we should refer Cupid to the Hunger Games.”

RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION producers Ken Henderson and Joe Seiler presented a stellar one-night-only benefit cabaret to raise funds for REAF and BROADWAY CARES/ EQUITY FIGHTS AIDS. American Idol and Broadway (The Color Purple) star La Toya London, reality talent show stars Jason Brock (X Factor) and Tim Hockenberry (American’s Got Talent), and Hollywood’s Lindsay Pearce joined the national touring company of the Tony Award-winning Broadway show ANYTHING GOES for an evening of upbeat, high-energy music, comedy, and variety at Pier 39 Bay Theater. REAF has worked with over 35 touring casts to date to produce these gorge “One Night Only Cabaret” events. REAF has distributed well over $2.6 million to AIDS service agencies. This show was emceed by one of the wittiest, funniest yet (and tear-jerking singing “Beautiful City”) - Erich Bergen, who has the male romantic lead (Billy Crocker) in Anything Goes. The entire company performed a fabulous 42nd Street overture, complete with electrifying tap dancing. Jose Solivan, the AG stage manager, hit the heights of falsetto to do Melba Moore’s “I Got Love.” Brock and London brought down the house with their ‘50s style “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease. Lindsay gave us “Gimme Gimme” (“Cupid’s famous arrow: gimme love”) and a Katy Perry fiery “Firework.”

There was an immensely impressive karate exhibition by Sean Watkins, as well as magic by Vincent Rodriguez III. Hockenberry sang his original composition, “Ease Your Pain,” and Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone.” Ryan Steer (on ukulele) and Alex Finke (second lead AG actress Hope) gave us a song and soft shoe, “Glory of Love.” Fred Applegate (AG’s Moonface) sang a comedic “If Ever I Would Leave You” from bad dinner theater. Ed Staudenmayer (stodgy British Lord Evelyn) and his dog ironically performed his hilarious send-up of “Cats.” Purrfect! Alas, column space does not allow writing about ALL the amazingly talented entertainers, but the entire company’s finale was incredible - the title song, “Anything Goes!”

GAPA (Gay Asian Pacific Alliance) celebrated the coming of the Year of the Snake in style with the GAPA ROYAL BANQUET at the Empress of China (read more about this event on page 14). Co-chairs Ben Leong and William Nguyen (also 1st Prince), along with Emcee Estee Longah hosted. Mr. GAPA Jethro and Miss GAPA Jezebel performed stylishly. The Ladies of GAPA did a flawless “La Cage aux Folles” production number. The Godzy “Godzilla” Award Winner for Activism was given to Brian Yee. Two special scholarships were awarded.

ALRP (AIDS Legal Referral Panel) kicked off 30 YEARS OF JUSTICE FROM THE HEART CAMPAIGN at the SF LGBT Community Center with Executive Director Bill Hirsch and Director of Development Jim McBride speaking of this new fundraising initiative that commemorates the agency’s 30th year of service to the community. Founded in 1983, ALRP became the first legal services provider in the nation dedicated to meeting the needs of people with HIV. Through this campaign, ALRP hopes to raise $300,000 from foundations, corporations, and individual donors. The aim is to ensure ALRP’s long-term stability and continuation of its programs helping clients avoid unlawful evictions, protect and regain lost jobs and insurance/medical benefits, protect their assets and their children’s future, reduce their stress and improve their health, and assure their personal dignity. Last year alone, ALRP helped almost 1,500 people with HIV/AIDS in 2,099 legal matters, successfully leveraging over $1.4 million in donated legal services, and providing training for more than 80 attorneys. ALRP also launched their label, Private Reserve Chardonnay & Cabernet Sauvignon Wines (from JK Cellars) and ALRP/UTAC (Until There’s A Cure Foundation) gold bracelet partnership. More info: alrp.org.

KREWE DE KINQUE Mardi Gras Club had a festive kickoff with House of Garza at Cafe Flore. Garza performed, as did Bebe Sweetbriar, Sasha Stephane, Marco Middlesex, Kippy Marks, Tweaka Turner, MamaDora, DJ KdK King Gary I, and we formed a conga line to dance to “When the Saints Go Marching In.” KREWE DE KINQUE MARDI GRAS BAL MASQUE X is a fundraiser for TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER at The Arc (1500 Howard at 11th) Saturday, Feb. 9. An open bar featuring Stoli & Bacardi, New Orleans buffet, and lively music from The Dixieland Dykes + 3 for VIPs at 7pm. The General Admission at 8pm tickets ($20 advance, brownpapertickets.com/event/320667); $25 at door if available) includes all the fun of the Masked Ball: DJ Kelly Kidd & dancing, performers Grand Marshal Cassandra Cass and Miss Gay United States Mercedez Munro, Second Line Parade, Live Tableaux Show, and crowning of the King and Queen X. Then on Mardi Gras Tuesday, Feb. 12, KdK will host its FAT TUESDAY BUS & BAR CRAWL starting at The Mix in the Castro.

FREEDOM FROM TOBACCO (FFT), a project of the SF LGBT Community Center, joined San Francisco’s civic and community leaders to celebrate CafĂ© Flore’s commitment to a healthy LGBTQ community by providing a smoke-free patio for its guests. FFT presented its data from air quality measurements at the City’s queer bars that show unhealthy air quality levels on outdoor bar patios, and a resolution for other bars and restaurants asking them to commit to providing healthier outdoor spaces. Supervisors Scott Wiener and Eric Mar joined representatives from State Senator Mark Leno and Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s offices in presenting proclamations to J.D. Petras, CafĂ© Flore’s owner.

Experience the Academy Awards with ACADEMY OF FRIENDS’ AIDS fundraiser in tribute to the style and glamour of the Roaring 20’s and the beginning of Hollywood’s Golden Age at BOAS, BOWTIES & BUBBLY! with live telecast of the Oscars on super-sized video screens, champagne, and live entertainment. Terra Gallery, 511 Harrison Street on February 24. Tix at aofriends/2013galaticketpurchase). AoF held a fun champagne kickoff at Bubble Lounge to announce the BB&B event, with Board Chair Howard Edelman and Vice Chair Matthew Denckla hosting. 

DIANA VREELAND: THE EYE HAS TO TRAVEL is at Castro Theatre February 20, hosted by Mark Rhoades. Q&A with Director Lisa Vreeland by fashion icon Joy Bianchi follows the screening. Cocktail party at 7pm, upstairs with Lisa Vreeland, 8pm screening. During Diana Vreeland’s fifty-year reign as the “Empress of Fashion,” she launched Twiggy, advised Jackie Onassis, and established countless trends that have withstood the test of time. She had many gay friends such as Yves Saint Laurent, Halston, Giorgio Armani, Andy Warhol, Truman Capote, Cecil Beaton, and Billy Baldwin. Admission is $12.

Adult video pick of the week takes you on a European trip with Falcon in Madrid Sexy!

Don’t miss Magnet’s (18th and Castro) art exhibition of Chinese ink on rice paper by Xiang Gao: sometimes deeply disturbing, other times placating fear. Note the bird icon as spirit and red strings as veins and lifelines.

Cupid gets chewed up and spit out when the LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SAN FRANCISCO presents their 10th annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Cabaret, Love Bites: 10 Years and Still Masticating on Friday and Saturday, February 8th and 9th, 8pm at the Mission Cultural Center, 2868 Mission and 25th Street Tickets $20-$30 sliding scale general admission available online at brownpapertickets.com/event/315413), LGCSF’s website (lgcsf.org), or at the door.

Sister Dana sez, “Happy Chinese New Year! It’s the Year of the Snake, which seems particularly phallic to this nun!”