Sister Dana is extremely proud of his gold medal in the Olympic Games of Cruising Castro’s Collingwood Park! 

PROJECT LOHAN is a brilliant must-see production starring D’Arcy Drollinger as Lindsay Lohan, playing at The Costume Shop, 1117 Market at 7th Street, August 9, 10, 11, 12; 16, 17, 18, 19. Written by D’Arcy, it has been constructed using ONLY found quotes, headlines and commentary from media sources - and is updated on a nightly basis. As Lindsay Lohan’s life continues to unfold, so does the show; so you’re always up to date on the Lohan hotline. We voyeuristic gossip queens voraciously follow LL’s career careening dangerously into destruction and bouncing back - only to fall again (repeat ad infinitum). D’Arcy has cleverly documented LL from Disney starlet to convicted felon with all her DUIs, car accidents, drug addictions, breakdowns, bitch fights and boyfriends – with unrelenting pursuit by the tabloid tattlers. This is fast-paced, multi-media all over the place, with both live and prerecorded TV projections. The talented ensemble cast (Elizabeth Irene Anderson, Michael Patrick Gaffney, Cindy Goldfield, Sara Moore and Allegra Rose Edwards) changes costumes (172), characters (more than 60) and genders constantly with appearances from such notables as mother and father Lohan, frenemies Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Britney Spears, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, the immortal Meryl Streep, and even notorious Mr. Blackwell with his blacklist of fashion faux pas. Tix $25, $30 at the door at brownpapertickets.com/event/246820. Lindsay rules!

STEP UP REVOLUTION is the feel-good … no, make that “feel-FABULOUS!” movie of the month. It’s one part dance and one part revolution, culminating in several well-choreographed, orchestrated flash mobs staging a vivid protest by the 99% against the super wealthy 1%!  Now playing at Century San Francisco Centre 9, 845 Market Street. The effects are marvelous, especially in 3-D. Emily arrives in Miami with aspirations to become a professional dancer. She sparks with Sean, the leader of a dance crew whose neighborhood is threatened by Emily’s father’s development plans.

BEAR CITY2 is the continuing story of the breakout hit, Bear City. It screened at the Castro Theatre on Up Your Alley fair day. BC2 features a bevy of beautiful bears, bear cubs, and their buddies, along with the hysterical Kathy Najimy as mother of a bear cub who can’t get his daddy bear to commit to marriage. And marriage is the topic of this fun film, subtitled “The Proposal.” As a sign states in the movie: “If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.” But that is precisely the problem. Now that they CAN gay marry in New York, must they? Is it mandatory? A wedding is planned. A wedding is called off. And a wedding is carried through. Str8 bear Kevin Smith makes a cameo appearance. There is a documentary within a docu-drama with lots of laughs and a few tears too. It should be coming out on video sometime soon. Produced by big bear Jim LandĂ©. 

The Midnight Mass Players presented THE SILENCE OF THE TRANS pre-show spectacular drag takeoff on the horror thriller The Silence of the Lambs at the Castro Theatre starring SHARON NEEDLES as serial killer Buffalo Jill; PEACHES CHRIST as Trannibal Lecter; SUPPOSITORI SPELLING as Clarice Starlet; MRS. CHRIST (Peaches’ real-life mother) as Senator Martin; VINSANTOS as narrator; LADY BEAR as would be serial killer victim; TIMMY SPENCE as Sgt. Joan Crawford; COUSIN WONDERLETTE as “Precious” the dog; RAYA LIGHT as Triggs; and TRIXXIE CARR as herself; with a chorus of tens. It was bloody good fun, loaded with costumes, props, and scenery – but isn’t every good Peaches production?! Watch for info on her 15th anniversary show of Showgirls August 5th.

I heard if from the grapevine that WINE TIME FOR MEN is a new monthly gathering of wine connoisseurs and just plain wine lovers to taste the latest in vineyard offerings at Jake’s in the Castro, 2223 Market. We tasted some delish Bjornstad Cellars 2008 chardonnay and pinot noirs, available at Castro Village Wine Shop. Since it was Bay Times co-publisher/ editor Jennifer Viegas’ birthday, we all sang her “The Birthday Song” and ate vanilla cake with strawberries. August 29th wine tasting at Jake’s will feature winemaker Joe Shirley of NAPA Cellars wines. Quaff along with me, winesters!

THE KINSEY SICKS – America’s Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet – will return to The Rrazz Room, 222 Mason Street for two weeks from August 7 to 19 with a special election year show, Electile Dysfunction. Their typical mix of outrageous comedy and social critiques will include new songs like “Vote For Me (I Wasn’t Born In Kenya),” “Sell The Poor,” “Peoria” (about catering to the tastes of Middle America to the tune of the ’80s pop anthem “Gloria”), and “Eliminate The Schools” (to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan’s “Three Little Maids From School”). The Beautyshop Quartet is stumping to win the Republican nomination for President. Not! With an ear attuned to current events, watch these glorious gals try to take America back to a place it never was by out-pandering, out-conspiracy theorizing, and out-outlandishing even the most cynical of the current crop of Presidential candidates - all in glorious, tongue-in-cheek four-part harmony.

RUNWAY 24: HEAVEN & HELL presented the always festive Mr. and Miss GAPA Pageant femceed by the inimitable Tita Aida and decorated in heavenly/ hellish theme at VIP reception by Ken Hamai. Titleholders were Mr. GAPA 2012 – Jethro; Miss GAPA 2012 - Jezebel Patel; First Prince William; First Princess Lilly Rose; Second Prince Bao Nguyen; and Second Princess Marijoy Tabatsoy. Audience Awards: Favorite Fantasy – Jethro; Boy Next Door – Jethro; Girl Next Door - Lilly Rose; Most Photogenic Male – William; Most Photogenic Female - Singa Dione; and Miss Congeniality – Jezebel. Stepping down were Mr. GAPA 2011 Mike Nguyen and Miss GAPA 2011 Lychee Minnelli. Alas, I don’t have enough column space to elaborate further, but suffice it to say it was GORGEOUS!

Repugnican Prezzy candidate Mittens Romney deserves a gold medal for Olympian gaffes – or better yet, a solid gold foot in his mouth!