“Say it loud!  I’m Black and I’m proud!”  Thank you Mr. James Brown because now I can adapt the lyrics to suit myself. 

“Say it loud!  I’m Gay and I’m proud!”  While some lesbians may protest my use of the word “Gay” to describe myself, keep in mind that I am merely maintaining the meter of the slogan.  Besides, it may be time for us to call ourselves by a name that sounds like we’re having some fun.

Men get to say, “I’m GAY!” and feel good about it, especially since they always have thumping music and disco balls to back them up.

We say “I’m LESBIAN!” and people look at us sadly, as though we’re missing out on something. Some people have trouble mustering up the courage to say the word at all.  How many times can we laugh at folks saying “Lebanese” without feeling sorry or confused?

I’m suggesting that we call ourselves “PLAY” -- a word that implies that we’re having fun and not taking ourselves so seriously. We could then be PLAYMATES and solve the dilemma of what to call ourselves. “Lovers” is too personal and denies the bed death we may actually be experiencing, and “partners” sounds like we’re in business together and not necessarily the “love” business! 

We can have PLAY DATES alone, together, or in groups with other PLAYERS!  Wow, I’m turning myself on with all the possibilities.

Wouldn’t it be fun to walk up to a woman you’re interested in and ask her if she’d like to play with you? Imagine the intrigue, the innuendo, the heart-pounding excitement of playing with a girl you really like! And when you don’t feel like playing anymore, you won’t have to feel the harsh sting of rejection.  You can simply find someone else to play with, someone who plays the way you do.

I’ve been called a “player” but it always felt judgmental or derogatory, like there’s something wrong with me because I enjoy the company of women, different women for different activities. I’ve incurred jealousy and resentment but rarely praise for my playing skills. 

It’s time for women-loving-women to ease up on ourselves, to remember why we’ve chosen this lifestyle in the first place. I truly fear us becoming lesbians in straight-face, so eager for approval of the “mainstream” that we lose our fierceness in the process.  It’s my feeling that the marriage agenda too often usurps our pride in our differences, and makes us desire to be “like everyone else.” Well I, for one, do not want to be like everyone else! I miss the true diversity of our lesbian community…the SMers, sex rebels, celibates, serial daters, and out and proud players.

So this PRIDE season, come out and PLAY, all you PLAYERS
and PLAYMATES on PLAY DATES! “Say it loud!  I PLAY and I’m proud!”