By Sister Dana Van Iquity Published: September 23, 2010
Entertainer Jeb Havens, Joan Crawford Texas, Mutha Chucka, and parodist Tom Orr.
âWhatcha Doinâ Wednesday,â held every third Wednesday of the month, has become the hot thing to do on a cold night in the Castro. Itâs a combination bar crawl and moving entertainment to help us get over hump day and get out to socialize while supporting Castro businesses. On Sept. 15, two notorious drag queens, Joan Crawford Texas and Mutha Chucka, led a gang of queeros from bar to bar, eventually coming together in the 17th Street Plaza. But first I joined co-sponsors Patrik Gallineaux and Joan at the Mix for a special $4 Stoli Ohranj Cosmo to enjoy the dancing and singing of Gypsy Love and her girls shaking their moneymakers. Then it was the deliciously dirty parodies of Tom Orr such as âDreaming of Being a Porn Starâ roughly based on The Little Mermaid; âYa Gotta Get a Gimmickâ from Gypsy (complete with banana blowjob demonstration); and âIâm Just a Boy Who Cainât Say Noâ from South Pacific. Coy Ellison was outside breathing fire for our amazement. In Moby Dick, Joan wittily commented on Ellisonâs act as âsuch a flaming faggot!â
Everyone assembled in the new plaza across from Harvey Milk Plaza in front of Twin Peaks to watch Ellison spin an umbrella spine lit on fire at every spoke and twirling faster and faster in the night to âBirds of Fire.â Mutha Chucka joined Joan Crawford Texas in a reenactment of the infamous Mommie Dearest scene. âWhy did you adopt me?â queried Joanâs daughter Tina in a rage. âI donât ask much of you, girl; why canât you give me the respect Iâm entitled to?â Joan screamed to her daughter. âI am not one of your fans!â Tina shouted back. Then the two chased each other around and lip-synched to âMamma Miaâ from the musical so entitled. Itâs always a challenge to perform in the plaza when at any moment the F-train could roll over a performer. Not really. The drivers are very courteous as they lay on the horn. Local singer/ songwriter Jeb Havens on keyboard played and sang some of his original compositions, including my favorite, âHideaway.â Go to JebHavens.com to download some of his beautiful numbers. He then played a rather dark, ominous piece, âLose It All,â for a change of mood. âA Driven Manâ had a pleasant country sound to it. The SideShowCrew took the stage to do some steppinâ, droppinâ it like itâs hot, and dippinâ down low. They followed with some tricky chair work to Janet Jacksonâs âNasty Girl.â
The evening ended at Trigger with the crowd going wild over Gypsy Love and her bare-chested boys and hot chicks, as well as SideShowCrew with a live vocal by Amber doing Rihanna. Donât miss the next âWhatcha Doinâ Wednesday,â when Iâll see you out and about in the Castro!