Christy Crowley in Pulp Scripture.

Consider for a brief moment those religious folks waving signs proclaiming “God Hates Fags” and/or the devout who tooketh away California’s same-sex marriage rights.  Well, the perfect antidote to those poisonous proselytizers is found in Pulp Scripture.  Here, playwright William Bivins humorously proves (in one too-brief hour) that the Creator open-mindedly tortured all of his creatures, not just the LGBTs (that was for later). 

Produced by Original Sin Production and Piano Fight in the intimate Off-Market Theater, the elucidating laughs from these nine short plays never stop, and all are inspired by the oh-so-odd Old Testament.

Hard-core zealots quickly go “cafeteria-plan” when confronted with some provocative sections of the Bible, especially the Old Testament.  And Bivins has selected just nine of the multitudinous passages (primarily from the book of Genesis) that highlight the arbitrary cruelties from the “OMG of love.”  Certainly there’s room for many more sequels (hell, they didn’t even touch Leviticus!), so hopefully this will become an annual event.  Each short piece explores different “bad choices” made by our ancient ancestors.

Opening with the Garden of Eden (naturally), Adam and Eve are quite confused when punished by their egotistical creator for seeking knowledge.  But they do agree that now that sex is dirty and shameful, it’s much more fun.  In a clever “noir” style, Samson is easily scammed by the scheming femme fatale Delilah.  In “The Command to Sacrifice Isaac” a nervous father takes his son on a perilous camping trip where the about-to-be-knifed boy sums it up simply with “You’ve gone way too far with this religious stuff.”  The delightful “Depravity of Sodom” segues smoothly into “The Shameful Origin of Moab and Ammon,” where a faithful young girl teaches her sister “Just because Dad offered you to be raped by a hundred Sodomites doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”

The writing is consistently quite funny, offering a terrific present-day perspective to the ancient tales.  And by placing it in a 1950s vernacular (you know, when the world was perfect IF you were a heterosexual, white, able-bodied, Christian male), audiences can more readily identify with the intrinsically evil hypocrisies.  Given the brevity of each piece, character development is minimal, focusing more on biblical plot points.  Although most are tidily written and presented, there are a few which end awkwardly or seem somehow structurally incomplete.  And some are so much fun, that audiences want more before skipping off to the next atrocity.

The talented ensemble (Rand Courtney, Christy Crowley, Charlotte Gulezian, Maya Mahrer, and John Mercer) morphs easily from role to role, and all create and maintain the manic world of the play.  The very capable Crowley also directs, and she keeps the insanity moving quickly, achieving good comic timing and fun stage pictures.  The shorts are connected by brilliantly selected, mood-setting musical snippets (sound engineers Logan Andrews, Sam Bivins, and Rand Courtney), such as “Sentimental Journey” to set the mood for Abram and Sarai’s trip to Egypt.

 So if you MUST embrace guilt, make it a guilty pleasure.  See Pulp Scripture and have a hearty laugh.  It’s a helluva good time.

Pulp Scripture continues (Sat 10:30pm; Sun 4pm) until Dec. 20 at Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission St., SF.  Tix ($20) at door or at pulpscripture.com.