The Maitri Open Housew event. Executive Director Tim Patriarca and singers Spencer Day and Paula West. Photo by Rink.

“This is the biggest crowd we’ve ever had at Maitri,” said Tim Patriarcha, executive director of the hospice, gathering the crowd into the spacious living room on Sept. 21. He explained this is the home of 15 people who are at an end of life experience. The house chefs, who serve healthy meals to the residents at least three times a day, cooked delicious finger food and offered beverages for the guests that night. Volunteers helped serve. Prior to that, people were given a guided tour of the beautiful premises, including a Zen garden with lush, green foliage, comfortable patio furniture, and a waterfall. Rooms are private and share a bathroom. Personal decorations, pictures, and artwork are encouraged. 

“Maitri” is a Sanskrit word meaning “compassionate friendship.” According to their mission statement: “No one should have to suffer or die alone. We provide compassionate residential care to men and women in need of hospice or 24-hour care, and cultivate the deepest respect and love for life among our residents and caregivers.” 

Patriarcha said Maitri has been around for about 22 years, having its roots for the first ten years in the Hartford Street Zen Center. It had been founded by Isan Dorsi, the abbot who was lovingly described as “kind of a crazy hippie ex-addict who started caring for people who were dying of AIDS.” It was a real San Francisco story. Then they bought the present building at 401 Duboce Avenue in 1996. After much renovation of the run-down place, they moved in and started caring for folks in December 1997. 

“We’re the last facility in California that deals with end of life care,” said Patriarcha. “The majority of our folks come here for about three or four months.” Also some patients come for medical stabilization, also known as a “tune-up,” offering acute care until they can be moved out of Maitri into more independent settings. The residents and staff and volunteers all support each other, and everyone becomes family. 

They see anywhere between 40 and 60 people a year. “We really get the sickest folks in the city,” Patriarcha said. “These are the ones who require constant care.” He said, “We are the highest level of care in the city, and our hope here is to make sure they are surrounded with love.” Maitri gives biological family members, significant others, and patients’ support systems time to step back, free from worry about the daily chores of living, but being able to be present with their loved ones in “the most difficult period of their lives.” Maitri creates a different kind of care – one that is homelike and highly personal, creating dignity in a nonjudgmental atmosphere where people can relax and enjoy life as best they can. There are many activities to fill their lives – as well as a piano, library, and home entertainment center for their use. They can dine family style on a big beautiful wood table or in their rooms if they prefer that. 

There are many ways to be involved, including being a donor or volunteering or hosting an intimate fundraising dinner for friends, with food cooked and served along with beverages. Bedside companions are always in demand. 

“This year has been extremely difficult for all nonprofits, and Maitri is not unique in that,” he said. “Our state funding has been completely cut this year, along with all the rest of the HIV programs in the city.” 

Spencer Day - composer, pianist, and singer - had just completed a very successful run at the Rrazz Room, had sung “The National Anthem” at a Giants game, and then volunteered for entertainment that night. He has been a wonderful supporter of Maitri over the years, and was a special guest during their annual Bliss fundraiser event in 2005 at Bambuddha Lounge. His latest CD, Spencer Day: Vagabond will be reviewed shortly in Bay Times.

He played and sang a few numbers from that CD and others to the great enjoyment of the assembled audience. He sang his latest, “Someday,” and then a piece against the discriminatory Proposition 8 - not too subtly reminding married couples that gay people want those white picket fences as well. After several more original compositions, he sang Leonard Cohen’s “Halleluiah” and closed with his most appropriate, introspective, and moving original, “The Movie of Your Life.”