Columnist Pollo Del Mar made quite a splash at Russian River Resort, where she performed May 9 with Cookie Dough’s Monster Show. Photo by Annie NoZowa.

Notorious Sainted Glamazon About Town

As hostess of the bus for Russian River Resort’s maiden “day-tripper” excursion to Guerneville, I was at my wit’s end by the time we pulled into a Santa Rosa fruit stand for an unscheduled bathroom break last Saturday. Whether it was the strain of departing 45-minutes late, breaking my favorite set of heels along the way or threats of mutiny from already-intoxicated members of the House of Salad, I’m not sure, but as passengers spilled out of our bright, yellow school bus and into the nearby bushes to relieve themselves, I needed a breather as much as anyone.

More than a month before, during our run of The Golden Girls at the Triple-R, Cookie Dough asked me to captain the bus-trip to her first out-of-town Monster Show. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. Hot on the heels of cohosting one of the busses for Trannyshack: Reno, which had proven a raging success over Easter weekend, a jaunt to Russian River and back seemed like nothing. Then reality set in. 

Since it was the first trip of the summer, and indeed the first of its kind, many details were not ironed out. Policies and processes are still being firmed up, and, since Cookie and her husband DJ MC2 were already at the River, I was the one solely responsible for making sure everything happened as planned on this end. As a result, before we ever stepped foot on the bus, I was already feeling a touch overwhelmed. By the time I disembarked with the mostly drunken passengers racing to keep from wetting themselves, I was wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into! 

“Look, they were expecting us!” someone shouted just then, pulling me from my jumbled thoughts. “It’s a stage!” 

Glancing up, I saw the flatbed trailer of an 18-wheel semi-truck seemingly abandoned in the field behind us. Surrounded by tallish grass, it did, in fact, bear a striking resemblance to a stage. “It’s bigger than any stage we’ll ever get to perform on in the city,” Lady Bear gasped, making a bee-line toward it, followed by Ambrosia Salad and Matt Slusarenko, who will forever be known to me as Sissy Starbucks.

Within minutes, the trio was working an imaginary catwalk, putting on a show for the others. The hilarity and obnoxiousness of it all – especially when I imagined what unsuspecting passers-by and those shopping at the produce market must have thought — snapped me immediately back into the spirit of the moment and all was right in the world..

Slightly more than a half-hour later, we were poolside at the Triple-R. Along for the ride were Lance Brittain, who receives a very special volunteer award at the upcoming AIDS Emergency Fund County Fair on May 30, Tim Gullicksen from the Big Gay Frathouse, Aida Fajita and Kenny Kinman, who had won passes the Wednesday before at BRAIN FARTS trivia, Palm Theresa, Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n’t, who stayed in drag from morning until we got home at nearly 4 a.m., and pop culture maven  Michael Moreau (http://www/CulturCosm.com).

Though it surprised many of the other guests, in what could become my Russian River signature, I dove headlong into the pool in full drag for a sassy photoshoot with new gal-pal Annie Nozawa. Not only did her pictures turn out smokin’ hot, they also got a great response on the Web site for RuPaul’s Drag Race, where I am still hovering just outside the Top 10.

After thrilling audiences with performances by PrimaDonna Reed, Lady Bear, Ambrosia, Cookie and myself – one of the strongest Monster Show line-ups in recent memory — it was time to pack up and make our way back to the City. Fortunately, most everyone passed out within minutes of our departure, making it a much more relaxing trip home.

With many more such Russian River Resort excursions planned throughout the rest of the summer, it seems a very real possibility I’ll return. After all, the hospitality and relaxing atmosphere of Triple-R has become one of my favorite weekend getaways. 

Next time, though, I think I’ll leave the responsibility for getting everyone there to someone else. That sounds like just the kind of breather I need.

Cast your vote daily to see “The Glamazon” on Season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. http://www.RuPaulCasting.com/people/PolloDelMar