Pollo Del Mar is surrounded by hot dancers at AEF’s County Fair. Photo by Steve Underhill.

By Pollo Del Mar

Notorious Glamazon About Town

Over the weekend, I realized exactly how much life is like riding a mechanical bull. It’s about learning to hold on and let go all at once. Of course, that statement might make more sense to the hundreds who attended Sunday’s AIDS Emergency Fund County Fair in Golden Gate Park. A highlight of the June 1 fundraiser was watching The City’s most fabulous try to stay atop a motorized bucking steer. 

The experience carried more than just bragging rights for me, though. It was a much-needed lesson after a dear friend completely tapped my mental reserves during an emotionally-draining week… But I am getting ahead of myself.

Friday I landed at The Cinch for Charlie Horse, a show not to be missed. Too bad hostess Anna Conda - thanks to strong drinks from bartender Michael Brown and prescription pills - was in a complete blackout!  The night’s theme - “Peaches Christ Slaughters Broadway” - was the incomparable cohostess’ brainchild and gave rise to inspired performances by Miss Trannyshack 2006 Raya Light, Dam Dyke and more. Peaches even unveiled the brand-new poster for this summer’s Midnight Mass movie series.

The night really belonged to four ladies, though. Faux-queen Holy McGrail, first runner-up at last year’s Miss Trannyshack Pageant, and real-life girl Jodi wowed the crowd with a fierce gay-marriage number.  Afterwards, The Diamond Daggers, a burlesque troupe Anna met while hostessing the LGBT Community Center’s Anniversary celebration, rocked “Cellblock Tango” from Chicago.

Anjie Myma and I were still discussing it later, over pancakes. Really fun people - like Keith Hak, captain of The Jetsetters gay softball team, reigning Emperor John Weber and Krewe de Kinque leader Gary Virginia - pop by Orphan Andy’s at 3 am, making it the best place in town to can get a Denver omelet and the latest gossip for under ten bucks! Even old friend Lance Holman, one of the 2008 Bare Chest Calendar studs, was there.

I pointed out how - like the Diamond Daggers - ladies are stealing the shows lately. The Tuesday before, NYC recording sensation Lady GaGa brought down the house at Trannyshack. She performed current Top 10 club hit “Just Dance,” from her upcoming debut album The Fame, and I couldn’t help sing along. Becky Motorlodge, who styled the future superstar’s hair, agrees:  GaGa not only sounds great live, she’s damn cute! June 10, another rising diva turns it out for Trannyshack when, a day after rocking CafĂ© DuNord with their complete live set, Heloise & The Savoir Faire show SF why they’re Debbie Harry’s favorite new band. I’ll be at both gigs, honey!

Having watched others shine, by Sunday I was ready for my moment in the spotlight at the AIDS Emergency Fund County Fair. It was an honor to join The Southern Onyx Black Widow Empire, Joan Crawford-Texas with Veronica Lewinsky, and all-female country music act Chick Wagon (with timeless Femcees Sister Roma and Donna Sachet) as mainstage entertainers. Seated front-and-center were the Imperial Council’s crown jewel Absolute Empress XXV Marlena, Mr. Golden Gate Drew, Terrie Penn, who generously bought me a beverage after, Paul “Maka” Poole and the Ducal Court’s Crown Prince Virgil.

After performing, I made my way through the absolutely charming “County Fair” masterminded by George Macaluso, of Mosaic Event Management, and Neil Figurelli. From its silent auction to the wide array of carnival-style games and treats, the night was a sheer delight! The Gold’s Gym-sponsored “Strong Man Competition” - where a large hammer is used to send a weight up a pole to ring a bell - proved irresistible. Steven Underhill (StevenUnderhill.com) took some great photos, too! Joan Crawford-Texas immediately followed my third, finally successful attempt. I was surprised when she hit the mark with only one swing!  Even more shocking was how hairy that bitch is.  Nice sweater, Joan!

For me, though, the true joy was the mechanized bull. Though I’m still bitter about missing reigning Empress Cher-a-Little - she rode shortly before I arrived - I did watch sexy Mr. SF Leather 2004 Julian Marshburn and even Grand Duke Oliver-with-a-Twist. One lesson I realized even before my turn was that, while everyone is excited to see you climb onto that hard-plastic beast, what they really want is to see you get thrown on your ass! Isn’t that just like our society?

Well, I certainly didn’t want to disappoint! With Novice Sister Maudlin Masscara videotaping my adventure for the world to see, I jumped on. As with life, just when I thought I knew where things were headed, the bull would turn, twist, and add an unexpected buck. Even with Maud screaming suggestions and Postulant Adora Penthouse-View cheering me on, I was still dumped unceremoniously on my head. So I got back up, dusted myself off, and tried again.

During the repeat performance, I realized the art of holding on - which I did much better that second go round - and knowing just when to release. If you don’t know when to let go, you get dragged…and that’s just no good. So I let go, knowing my friends would be there to dust me off. It was just the reminder I needed during a week when one of my closest friends disappeared into self-destructive behavior.

In my heart, though his demons impact our relationship, I know they have nothing to do with me. Still, to watch someone you love hurt himself is very painful. It made me resentful and angry…until that bull ride. It was then that I understood I have to hold on and have faith. When he’s done getting dragged behind the bull, he’ll let go. I just have to be there to help pick him back up.

And to think, I just thought I was riding a mechanical bull.

To view the video of Pollo taken at the AEF County Fair, visit: www.MySpace .com/Pollo_DelMar.