Sister Dana sez he is sorry for all the tragedies suffered on the coast, but has to think if God loves the Republicans soooo much, then why did He send the storm Isaac down upon their Republican National Convention?

PEACHES CHRIST’S SHOWGIRLS show and movie screening starred Rena Riffel playing the “Nomi Malone” role and Peaches Christ playing the Cristal Connors part as “Crystal Christ,” and as always, featured free lap-dances by more than 100 drag queens, drag kings, and freeeks - with every large popcorn purchase. We hauled out our Vegas g-strings and glitter pasties for the return of that classic turkey flop hit we love, Showgirls, at its 15th annual screening.

Peaches and company kicked off the evening with the legendary “Volcanic Goddess” pre-show (with an actual fake volcano, flames, lava, and real smoke) with very special guest, Rena Riffel (the real Penny/Hope from the movie). Vegas girls and boys wore scanty gold lamé costumes as they danced erotically onstage, eventually revealing Goddess Peaches all in gold sequins. When Nomi and Crystal met in their dressing rooms, they had a discussion regarding breasts (Peaches wore birdseed and nylon stocking falsies; while Nomi’s breastesses were real). They reminisced about back in the day when they were both so poor they had to eat dog food. Nomi said she got her training at Trannyshack, and Crystal snapped, “Yeah, you didn’t learn lip-synching from Heklina; all you learned was rimming!” The second stage show began with a cardboard motorcycle “whizzing” by, ushering in the SM floorshow with dancers wearing leather fetish costumes and simulating sex with each other. Riffel’s patent leather peek-a-boo apparel was almost identical to the movie costume, thanks to the talent of seamstress Bea Dazzler.

There was also the annual Showgirls Look-alike Contest judged by Rena Riffel and Lady Bear. The winner was Garden Gnomi, dressed as a garden gnome. Fierce! In the GODDESS SPECTACULAR pre-show, the cast included Rena as Nomi Hope; Peaches as Crystal; Cousin Wonderlette as “A Dancer;” with Lady Bear AKA Nomi Bear, L Ron Hubby, Becky Motorlodge, Sandra O. No-shi Di’int, Kegel Kater (also the makeup artist), Marina Bitch, Pristine Condition, Rory Davis, Michael Phillis, Michael Turner, and Peggy L’eggs. Riffel spoke about writing, directing, and starring in her campy film, Showgirls 2: Penny’s from Heaven, which I hope to review in an coming issue. The whole night was just too freakin’ much fun! Don’t miss this annual treat when it comes around next year! 

Next up is the San Francisco Underground Short Film Festival at the Victoria Theater on September 29. And mark yer “galendars” for Death Becomes Her, starring Peaches and Heklina with the hilarious Goldie Hawn/ Meryl Streep comedy at the Castro on October 20th. 

RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION and REAF executive directors Ken Henderson and Joe Seiler presented “One Night Only Cabaret” with the cast of the 25th anniversary touring company of Les Misérables at Marines Memorial Theatre. The evening also featured American Idol’s David Hernandez, Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, and Vocal Minority – all being a fundraiser for REAF and Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS. Les Mis cast members Ben Gunderson and Eric Van Tielen acted as emcees, giving a very funny “Invocations & Instructions to the Audience” regarding the forbidding of coughing, eating, chatting, cell phones, etc. during the show. Highlights: The entire Les Mis cast sang “Put on Your Sunday Clothes” from Hello Dolly; Betsy Morgan gave a sizzling “Buenos Aires” from Evita, but happily substituted “San Francisco” for the Brazilian city; Joseph Spieldenner gave a tender “If I Loved You;” the kids of Les Mis sang an adorable “Secret Garden” medley; Van Tielen sang “If You Could See Her through My Eyes” from Cabaret, referring to Katya as they waltzed comedically with the Russki drag queen towering over him in her high heels and high hair. Then Katya sang in her delightfully broken Russian accent and high soprano voice “As If We Never Said Goodbye” from Sunset Boulevard and “I’m the Greatest Star” from Funny Girl. Vocal Minority, the a cappella ensemble from SF Gay Men’s Chorus sang “Forget About the Boy” and “Once Upon a Time.” There isn’t room to mention all the talented presentations, but standing out was “Wig in a Box” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch by Richard Barth; an emotional “One Song Glory” from Rent by David Hernandez; and the very naughty “Everybody’s Girl” by Beth Kirkpatrick (“Men and me are like pianos; when they get upright, I feel grand!”) and (“Wanna know why I could never be a cowboy’s girlfriend? Because I just can’t keep my calves together!). Wowzers! The entire company sang for a rousing grand finale “Make Our Garden Grow” from Candide and “People’s Song” from Les Mis. Totally gorge!

 SAN FRANCISCO PRIDE PARADE held their annual Check Granting Party at the LGBT Community Center Rainbow Room. So you know where your money goes when you donate at the gates, receiving grants were the following: AIDS Housing Alliance/SF, AIDS Project of the East Bay; Alameda County Leather corps; Bay Area Derby Girls; Bay Area Young Positives; Bay Area Young Survivors; Bears of San Francisco; Berkeley Free Clinic; Billy Foundation; Bob Basker Post 315 of the American Legion; California Men’s Gathering; Castro Country Club; Castro Lions Club; Cat Town; Celebrate Life Spiritualist Community; Center for Sex & Culture; Central City Hospitality House; Coalition on Homelessness; Cougars Softball Team; Council of Grand Dukes and Grand Duchesses of SF; Court of the Great Northwest Imperial Empire, Inc; Dolores Street Community Services; East Oakland Community Project; Foggy City Dancers; Freedom in Christ Evangelical Church; Gay-Straight Alliance Network; Healing Waters Wilderness Adventures; Health Initiatives for Youth; Homeless Children’s Network; Imperial Court of SF; Imperial Royal Lion Monarchy; Imperial San Joaquin Delta Empire; Imperial Star Empire Inc. (Alameda County Imperial Court); Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco; Lighthouse Community Center; MCC San Francisco; New Spirit Community Church; NIA Collective; Northern California Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf;  Oakland - East Bay Gay Men’s Chorus; Oakland Pride; OutLoud Radio; Pagan Alliance; Pets Are Wonderful Support; Points of Distribution; Project Inform; Project Open Hand; Refuge Ministries; Rocket Dog Rescue; SF Fog Rugby Football Club; SF Gay Basketball Association; SF Gay Men’s Chorus; SF Gay Softball League; SF Inferno Softball Teams (Pass, Inc.); SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band; San Francisco Sex Information; San Francisco Spikes; San Francisco Track & Field Club; SF Tsunami Master’s Swim Team; SF Tsunami Water Polo team; San Jose PRIDE/Gay Pride San Jose, Celebration Committee of San Jose Inc.; Sisters Network Inc.; San Francisco Sexual & Gender Identities Clinic; South of Market Merchants & Individual Lifestyle Events (Folsom Street Events);

St. James Infirmary; St. Paul’s Foundation; Temenos Catholic Worker; Tenderloin Tessie Holiday Dinners; Theatre Rhinoceros; and Women’s Cancer Resource Center.

The monthly WINETIME FOR MEN was a delight as usual. Held every last Wednesday at 6pm, the wine tastings are at Jake’s on 2223 Market. This time it featured NAPA Cellars Wines, an award-winning wine that has supported Project Open Hand and other LGBTQ-related groups. We met vintner Joe Shirley. Both Joe and his wines are yummy!

Faux Queens Bea Dazzler & Holy McGrail in association with the KLUBSTiTUTE KOLLECTiVE present THE FAUX QUEEN PAGEANT: The Next Generation for Drag Queens Trapped in Women’s Bodies. Sunday, September 16, doors 7pm; pageant 8pm, DNA Lounge, 375 Eleventh Street. Tix: $12 in advance, online at dnalounge.com or $15 at the door. LYPSINKA is celebrating her 30th Birthday this year with a special engagement of the acclaimed show Passion of the Crawford at the Rrazz Room through September 16. The show is made up almost entirely of recorded sound-bytes made with the participation of Joan Crawford. Lypsinka has been a drag pioneer since way before RuPaul’s Drag Race was a TV hit.

Sister Dana imagines if men could be impregnated by women, there would be absolutely no anti-abortion discussions – let alone laws.