Anna Conda won’t be rocking Friday nights at Charlie Horse any more. It’s been shut down by noise complaints.

Bouncing back to the present day wasn’t what I had planned for this deadline, but a few things cropped up that definitely warranted coverage in a Beat This kind of way. Plus the holidays are upon us, and you know how charged I get with all the warm holiday sentiment in the air. I can hardly stand it.

But something sad has already marred the holidays, unfortunately. The super-popular weekly Friday nightclub Charlie Horse, livening up the historic Cinch Bar on Polk Street for over five years with rock and roll and outrageous drag shows and hostess, the incomparable Anna Conda, is officially over, cut down in its prime at the peak of popularity. It came as quite a shock to me. It was my understanding that Charlie Horse was going to retire by Gay Pride of 2010, reach an end date gracefully and glamorously bow out, top of its game, etc. That seemed reasonable.

I was completely dismayed to learn earlier this week that Charlie Horse was indeed over, the party has ended, no final show, no long good-byes; it’s gone. Funny how something can happen just like that, a few days notice, for a club that truly soared above the rest and was easily the cheapest and most fun weekly event Polk St. and this city had to offer. I’ve had the pleasure of guest DJ-ing there a few times and I was instantly hooked by the ever-ambitious, often shocking, over the top entertainment and the emerging superstars of the trannie-underground creating their legends right before your eyes.

Anna Conda’s in-your-face political attitude, honesty, inclusiveness and willingness to reveal all whipped her into a first rate hostess, charming, talented and with impeccable comic timing. Anna rocks, and it’s hard to fathom the collective sadness of the many fans, regular patrons, and members of the mutant urban family drag circus who performed and grew up there. The demise of Charlie Horse is a huge loss for many, many people, not to mention a casualty of the disturbing trend in San Francisco to wipe out all evidence of entire sub-cultural communities, the places they convene and drink in, the devil’s music they listen to, and any kind of fun or creativity these reprobate institutions may spawn. You think I’m just being overly dramatic. Huh-uh.

The Cinch is quite literally the last gay bar on Polk Street. We’ve watched many disappear over the years, often reborn as defiantly heterosexual establishments. Charlie Horse was the last gay kung-fu grip hold on queer identity for the Polk Street area in many ways, and we just lost it.

Why did this happen? Good question with a simple answer: There was a noise complaint from a neighboring condo. All that selfish homeowner had to do was complain that noise levels were excessive in their estimation and poof, the party is over, the people with the most stuff win again, and no one cares about small business owners and the expenses they will suffer and the resulting instability these complaints may incur. People are so selfish and miserable and classist and superficial and greedy. Oh, and one more thing, they hate gays again. Don’t be fooled queers, you are still public enemy number one for many, even after all that outreach, even here in liberal San Francisco.

I also heard at press-time that another Polk area bar that hosted a variety of one-off club nights, the infamous Gangway, was just forced to cancel all events and club nights for the same reason, noise complaints. There are those who feel this is the work of the Polk Street Merchants Association, who would apparently prefer non-gay bars and businesses over gay establishments in their new world order. The trend is apparent all up and down Polk. A bar is a bar, unless it’s a gay bar, then it’s the scourge of the neighborhood - loud, diseased, debauched and dangerous. “They’ve come for our children.” Of course we have. Eroding the sacred institution of marriage just wasn’t enough for us bloodthirsty, disease-fueled sodomites. We need your little ones too.

Why are gays destined to fight for the same rights over and over and over again? Because they don’t want us to have them. Why did Arnold block funding for essential programs for people with HIV and AIDS? Because they want us dead. It seems pretty simple to me. Well, I guess I sort of went on a bit of a rant, but dammit, I’m mad. The bullshit just keeps piling up. Progress is like science fiction; you need a special meter to gauge such miniscule movement. This is all so depressing. Don’t forget, Queers, you are still the enemy.

In an effort to reinforce that not all the fun has fallen into the ocean, there’s a new monthly party that just started in a subdued, quiet way and I hear reports that it’s really a cool and unusual new option for kicks here in the city that can’t sleep. The promoter and creator of this new club, DJ Bus Station John of Tubesteak Connection and the Rod fame (and the creator of the very best handbills and posters to promote his clubs that I’ve seen in the city) had a stroke of genius when he discovered the last bar/club/venue space to never be used for a one off club by anyone before. The club is called “Le Perle Degli Squallor,” which is Italian for “the Pearls of Squallor” which is a great name considering its location, 1414 Market, between Van Ness and 10th near all the squalor. This small unassuming bar has existed right under my nose for years, and I could barely find it. Apparently it has two levels of uncharted party territory and a friendly staff who welcome the idea of featuring something different. The next scheduled date for this visibly invisible monthly event is Saturday, Dec. 12, and I definitely will be in attendance - excited like an astronomer who discovered a new planet, Plus DJ Bus Station John always turns out a solid club event at all his endeavors. This little bar, right beside an international youth hostel, is gonna be packed with happy and hip - see ya there buzzing with the magic of Xmas.