Dotson Webster (right) – who told his friend “I knew her when” – was one of the many familiar faces columnist Pollo Del Mar encountered at the Feb. 14 EQCA gala. Photo by Steven Underhill.

Notorious Sainted Glamazon About Town

More at home working a circuit party in hot-pants and cleavage-baring T-shirts than an evening gown, when it comes to hob-nobbing with A-Gays at the city’s finer see-and-be-seen events – to use an old redneck phrase I once heard — I stick out like a turd in a punch bowl. So needless to say, when  Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n’t implored me to join her at the extremely upscale Equality California gala last weekend at San Francisco’s City Hall, I was more than a little hesitant. 

After all, my personal insecurities aside, just scant days before the posh Valentine’s Day fundraiser, I had no ticket, no date and limited opportunities to come up with either. At times like those, I’ve learned, it pays to know the right people. So after just a few phone calls, I received a text message from Bevan Dufty. “Leave everything to me,” said the San Francisco District 8 Supervisor. Less than 24-hours later, he called to confirm two tickets would be waiting in my name courtesy of Comcast. 

That evening I streamed into the building with a throng of other partygoers. Foregoing a gorgeous-if-slightly-outrageous camouflage evening gown designed by uber-talented Oliver Pavick, I opted instead for the simple burgundy wrap-around jacket I wore earlier in the day to the Ducal Council’s annual Red Party at Deco Lounge. The color seemed appropriate for the holiday, and despite praying I would not look like I’d just wandered in off Polk Street (which, needless to say, I had – though not in that way), I was unwilling to completely sacrifice comfort for sake of conformity. It proved to be the right decision.

As I finally made my way through the metal detectors, which is no easy feat for a bejeweled drag queen, Bevan was waiting with ticket in hand. Earlier in the week, he’d called offering to seat me with an eligible young man who hoped to use my spare ticket (since short of hiring one, I was unable to rustle up an escort for the evening). However, as we passed a guard at the checkpoint, I realized plans had changed yet again.

“Gavin has Jennifer,” Bevan jokingly told the man, “So I needed a woman who can hold her own as well.”

While I certainly appreciated the vote of confidence — though my jawline more closely resembles the Mayorr’s ex, Fox News Channel hostess Kimberly Guilfoyle – suddenly the pressure was really on. Now in addition to being in unfamiliar territory, I was also flanking one of the city’s most respected politicians, a maker of front-page news and potential mayoral candidate in his own right. 

One false move, I thought, and I might ruin not only my own reputation, but I could end up the next Donna Rice (Ruby Rippey Tourk, if you want to keep it local) or, at a minimum, Beau Breedlove! So it should go without saying that I was on my absolute best behavior as my “date” and I headed into a ballroom packed with eveningwear, suits and even the occasional tux.

Kicking off the festivities was Wanda Sykes. Sporting a very, perhaps even overly feminine silver cocktail dress, she introduced EQCA Board members and backers including locals Jose Cisneros and, of course, Bevan. Though the crowd responded well, it was clear the recently out-of-the-closet funnylady was struggling to find her comic footing. Admittedly more accustomed to performing for African-American crowds, she seemed to flounder at first in front of the room full of gays. 

And, rest assured, I could relate to the feeling of being out of one’s element! I was so nervous, the best I could do was smile politely and shake hands as Bevan introduced me to (and provided background information about) a veritable who’s who of San Francisco’s LGBT elite and their supporters.

Thankfully, I periodically encountered friendly and familiar faces as well.

bEven before I spied Donna Sachet, her presence was given away when one well-meaning man pointed toward me. “Look,” he told his date just loud enough so I could hear, “Another blonde in red… Sort of.” 

Later I connected with friends Michael Tancinco and Dotson Webster, both of whom were making their ways through separate parts of the pre-dinner silent auction. DJ Christopher Berini, who two days later spun at my President’s Day Recovery party, and I snapped photos together. I even chatted up Project Runway Season 3 alum Andre Gonzalo, who just happened to be seated at the same dinner table as Sandra. 

Since Bevan spent most of the meal mingling, I was immensely grateful for the amazing people who shared our table. Among the crew was Janine Shiota, promoter of FRESH at Ruby Skye and one of the most glamorous real women I know. Chatting with her instantly put me at ease! Gorgeous Jared Sherer, who dropped by just to say how much he enjoyed the recent production of The Golden Girls: The Play, helped as well.

By the time I bumped into Energy 92.7FM morning show cohost Fernando and his boyfriend at the dessert reception and dance after, I’d finally hit my stride.  Luckily, so had Wanda. 

After all, stand-up is her “element” as much as working a crowd is mine. That night, we both gave it our all and made the most of our evenings. Even if one or both of us fell a bit short of our marks, with the free-flowing wine and open bar, I suspect nobody even noticed.

I just hoped they stayed away from the punch bowl.